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Marriage from Distant or Non-Relatives is Preferred
Question: One of my relatives has come to me for the purpose of marriage but I heard that to marry from non-relatives or distant relatives is preferred for the sake of the future of the children and other reasons.
What is your opinion on that matter?
Response: That principle has been stated by a number of scholars. It points to the fact that genetics and heredity has an effect.
There is no doubt that genetics has an effect on the physical and psychological make-up of the person. This is shown in the Hadith where a man came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and said, "My wife has given birth to a black child." (He was opposing that child because all of his ascendants were of light skin.) The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) told him, "Do you own camels?" He said, "Yes." The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "What color are they?" He said, "Red." The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked him, "Is there a dusky one among them?" He said, "Yes." The Prophet (peace be upon him) then said, "How has that come about?" The man replied, "It is perhaps due to the strain to which it has reverted." So the Prophet (peace be upon him) told him "Perhaps that son of yours is due to the strain to which it has reverted." This is evidence that genetics has an effect and there is no doubt about that. However, the Prophet (peace be upon him) also said, "A woman is married for [any of] four reasons: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her religion. So try to marry one who is religious, may your hands be smeared with dust."
Therefore, the most important matter in proposing to a woman is her piety. The more religious she is and the more beautiful she is then the better she is, regardless if she be a close relative or distant [or non-] relative. The religious woman will protect the man's wealth, children, and house. Beauty fulfills his needs and lowers his gaze and he will not look to others. And Allah knows best.
Shaikh ibn Uthaimin
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If Someone is Known Not to Perform the Prayers in Congregation, One Should Not Marry Him
Question: A young man came to me asking for my sister's hand in marriage. I inquired about him and discovered that he does not perform the prayer in congregation. Therefore, we differed about whether or not we should allow this marriage to take place. My brother said, "Many him for perhaps Allah will guide him." However, my father refused. I want to know the Islamic ruling concerning this matter.
Response: If someone is known not to pray in congregation, then he should not be wedded to. This is because not praying in congregation is an open, public display of disobedience to Allah. This is one of the characteristics of the people of hypocrisy and it is one of the steps that leads to abandoning the prayer in totality. And abandoning the prayer completely is a greater form of kufr [that takes one out of the fold of Islam]. Allah has stated, "Verily, the hypocrites seek to deceive Allah, but it is He who deceives them. And when they stand to pray, they stand with laziness" (al-Nisa 142).
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"The hardest prayers upon the hypocrites are the Isha Prayers and the Fajr Prayers. If they knew what they had [of reward and blessings], they would come to them even if they had to crawl."
This was recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
In this regard, ibn Masud said, "During our time, none would lag behind the prayer in congregation except for the hypocrite who was well-known for his hypocrisy."
This was recorded by Muslim in his Sahih.
It is also confirmed that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"The covenant between us and them is the prayer. Whoever abandons it has committed kufr (infidelity)."
This was recorded by Ahmad and the compilers of the Sunan collections with a sahih chain. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) also said,
"Between a man and disbelief and polytheism is the abandoning of the prayer."
This was recorded by Imam Muslim in his Sahih. There is no doubt that abandoning the prayer in congregation is one of the means that leads to abandoning the prayer in its totality, as we mentioned earlier. We ask Allah for guidance for all of us.
Shaikh ibn Baz
