Darussalam
Shaikhul-Islam Ibn Taimiyyah said that there are those from the people that
backbite or listen to backbiting, and they do so to please the company they
keep, with the awareness that the victim is likely to be innocent of some of the
things that are uttered about him. Often such offenders feel that if they were
to attempt to end such conversation in a gathering, their presence might become
unwelcome or burdensome.
There are many methods and guises that are employed when one mentions another
in a negative way.
Under the pretense of being informative, one could say that it is not
one's habit to mention others, except for the sake of relating another's
condition to someone.
Or one could state that by Allah, indeed so-and-so is one to be pitied,
thereby showing superiority over one who is to be rejected.
Another method might be to say that so-and-so is a good person;
however, he has such and such qualities. Again, one is justified in
revealing another's faults.
One could also simply state that we should forget so-and-so, and make
supplication for their forgiveness as well as our own, intending only to
belittle the one that was mentioned.
In reality, all these tactics are designed to try to deceive Allah (the
Exalted) and to please the creation; and in reality, the many that follow these
methods only serve to deceive themselves.
Then there are those that backbite to raise their own status.
When they hear of someone's error, they employ words like, "Had I prayed for
so-and-so last night in my prayer, the news of their sin would not have
reached my ears."
Again, when a person states of another that he lacks understanding in a
matter, the implication is personal superiority for the one that
mentions the other's shortcoming.
There are also those that couple jealousy with backbiting - the act of
being critical or belittling to those that are praised in the company of others.
Some people also backbite for the sake of humor, playfulness
and lightheartedness. A person finds a certain amount of satisfaction from
being appreciated for his story-telling abilities; speaking ill of
someone in a humorous fashion adds flavor to a tale.
Others engage in backbiting by showing surprise and amazement at another's
actions: "'How is it that someone could do such a thing?"
Yet others mention people and their actions with the pretense of
sympathy for their actions or misfortunes. In reality, the one who backbites
actually finds contentment and satisfaction at the mention of others and
their misdeeds.
Another form of backbiting is relating someone's misfortune to their
enemies, so that they, too, may find pleasure in putting them down.
From these examples, one can surmise that backbiting pertains to a disease of
the heart... May Allah save us from this most evil of actions and protect us
from its temptations.
