Wisdom Behind Prophet Muhammad’s Plural Marriages

By Norlain Dindang Mababaya

Non-Muslims, in general, have many misconceptions on Islâm and the Muslims. As the product of so many false propaganda written against Islâm and the Muslims, many non-Muslims misunderstood the beauty, rationality, practicality, completeness, truthfulness or in short, excellence of Islâm and its teachings. One excellent Islâmic teaching in Islâm is polygamy (plurality of marriage among men). Non-Muslims must know that everything that Allâh the Exalted, Most Glorious) and His Messenger (pbuh, meaning: May the peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) command us to do is good for every one and for the society as a whole.

Most enemies of Islâm center their biased criticisms on the Prophet Muhammad's plural marriages, which exceeded more than four as allowed in the Qur’ân. They branded the Prophet (pbuh) as “sexually obsessed man” for marrying more than four. In Islam, men are allowed to marry maximum four as long as they can show fair treatment to the women (whom they marry) as shown in the following Qur’anic Ayâh (Verse):

"If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, three or three, or four. But if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or that which your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice." (Qur’an, 4:3)

We have to correct the distorted notion that the Prophet (pbuh) was “sexually obsessed man” for marrying more than four. We should make it clear to the non-Muslims that Allâh commands us to follow the Prophet (pbuh) as he is the best example to the whole mankind (Qur’ân 33:21). Islâm as the perfect religion is both rational and practical. The Prophet’s plural marriages, which exceeded the maximum number allowed for men [1] is an exception to the Qur’ânic injunction (i.e., 4:3) to show all possible types of marriage in Islâm. If he was “sexually obsessed man” he would have married more in his early manhood, not after he had passed the age of fifty.

The fact that he married Khadijah bint Khuwailid (RadhiAllâhu anha, meaning: May Allâh be pleased with her) and lived a monogamous life (for twenty-seven years) till she died, showed that he (pbuh) was not “sexually obsessed man”. But his marriage to Khadijah shows only limited types of marriage that are allowed in Islâm. That is, it is permissible for a man to marry a woman who is older than him, for a poor and orphan man to marry a wealthy woman, for an employee to marry his employer, and for a bachelor man to a marry a widow. If Allâh did not allow the Prophet (pbuh) to marry other women, how could marriage in Islâm be open to all other types of marriages? Had the Prophet (pbuh) not married other women, Muslims who follow the Sunnah would find it difficult to enter into marriage with the limited examples from the Prophet’s marriage to Khadijah.

The Prophet’s plural marriages after his monogamous marriage with Khadijah for so many years show that in Islâm it is allowed for a man to marry virgin woman, who is very much younger than him, as in the case of ‘Aishah bint Abi Bakr (RadhiAllâhu anha). A man can choose to marry young and intelligent woman like Aishah. He can marry his friends’ daughters, in the same way as the Prophet (pbuh) married Aishah and Hafsah, the daughters of his closest friends: Abi Bakar (RadhiAllâhu anhu, meaning: May Allâh be pleased with him) and Umar, Aishah, and Hafsah, the daughter of his close friend Abi Bakar (RadhiAllâhu anhu) in order to foster ties of relationships. Or he can marry his enemies’ daughters as the Prophet (pbuh) married: Juwairiyah bint Al-Harith, the daughter of Al Harith, the head of Bani Al-Mustaliq of Khuza’ah and Umm Habibah or Ramlah (RadhiAllâhu anha), the daughter of Abu Sufyan. Note that both Al-Harith and Abu Sufyan were bitter enemies of Islâm. The Prophet’s marriages to their daughters show how Islâm goes for peace and reconciliation. Knowing that Juwairiah and Ramlah are both from ruling families, man’s marriage to women of high social status is therefore, allowed.

Likewise, it is allowed for a man to marry woman of low social class as in the case of Maria, who was given to the Prophet (pbuh) as a present by the ruler of Egypt. The Prophet (pbuh) elevated her status by marrying her, instead of making her his slave. His marriages to his captives: Juwairiyah(RadhiAllâhu anha) Bint Al-Haritha and Saffiyah (RadhiAllâhu anha), Bint Huyay bin Akhtab, not only show how Islâm tolerates mix marriages based on social status; but also shows the high regard given to women. Instead of making them slaves, being his captives, he married them and gave them the highest status of women being among the “Mothers of the Believers”. It further shows how the Prophet (pbuh) freed women from the bondage of slavery. Aside from inter social and cultural marriages, the Prophet (pbuh) also demonstrated that Islâm permits inter religious marriage with the People of the Book by marrying Safiyyah (RadhiAllâhu anha) bint Huyay bin Akhtab, a Jew and Maria (RadhiAllâhu anha), a Christian from Egypt. Both of them embraced Islâm and became among the “Mothers of the Believers”.

With his marriage to Sawda (RadhiAllâhu anha) Bint Zam’a, a widower can opt to marry middle-aged, widow, jolly, and kind woman like Sawda who can take care of his children. The Prophet’s marriages to Hafsah (RadhiAllâhu anha) Bint Umar bin Al-Khattab, Zainab (RadhiAllâhu anha) bint Khuzaimah and Umm Salamah Hind (RadhiAllâhu anha) bint Abi Omaiyah, all widows, show that men should show sympathy and care for widows by marrying them. Had he not married Umm Salamah, a widow with many children, he would not have demonstrated his virtuous teachings on the care of the orphans. He showed kindness to them, treated them just like his real children. The Prophet’s marriage to his cousin, Zainab (RadhiAllâhu anha) bint Jahsh, who was divorced by his adopted son, Zaid , shows that in Islâm, it is lawful for man to marry his first degree cousin. It is also lawful for man to marry a woman, divorced by his adopted son. In addition, Islâm allows the practice of betrothal before entering into marriage as what the Prophet (pbuh) did prior to his marriage to ‘Aishah (RadhiAllâhu anha). It also permits marriage in absentia as in the case of his marriage to Umm Habibah or Ramlah (RadhiAllâhu anha), the daughter of Abu Sufyan, who was in Abysinnia. The Prophet (pbuh) asked the King of Negus for Umm Habibah’s hand for marriage, which the King granted. Islâm also allows a case where a man marries a woman who presents herself for marriage as in the case of Maymunah (RadhiAllâhu anha). Maymunah voluntarily presented herself to the Prophet (pbuh) and became one of his wives.

Non-Muslims should know that Allâh permitted all Prophet’s plural marriages (i.e., more than four wives at the same time). Allâh only allows plural marriages (more than four wives at the same time) to His Messenger (pbuh) and not for the Believers at large. The plural marriages of the Prophet (which exceeded the maximum four allowed for men) are for the guidance of the Believers. They serve as guides on the dos and don’ts of marriages in Islâm. All the types of marriages that we derive from the Prophet’s plural marriages are based on the following Qur’ânic injunctions:

“This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the people of the Book (the Jews and the Christians) is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time, when you give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness. Taking them as lovers. If any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good)." (5:5)

And (remember) when you (O Muhammad) did say to him (Zaid bin Haritha ¾ the freed slave of the Prophet) on whom by guiding him to Islâm, and you (too) have done favor( by manumitting him) “Retain (in wedlock) your wife and fear Allâh.” But you did hide in your heart that which Allâh was about to make manifest (that He will give her to you in marriage). You did fear the people but it is more fitting that you should fear Allâh. Then, when Zaid had dissolved (his marriage) with her, with the necessary (formality) (he divorced her). We joined her in marriage to you; in order that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the Believers in (the matter of) marriage with the wives of their adopted sons, when the latter have dissolved with the necessary (formality) (their marriage) with them (they have divorced them). And Allâh’s command must be fulfilled. (33:37)

O Prophet (Muhammad)! Verily, We have made lawful to you: your wives to whom you have paid their dowers; and those whom your right hand possesses out of the prisoners of war whom Allâh has assigned to you; and daughters of your paternal uncles and aunts and daughters of your maternal uncles and aunts who migrated (from Makkah) with you; and any believing woman who dedicates her soul to the Prophet if the Prophet wishes to wed her. This is only for you and not for the Believers (at large). We know what We have appointed for them as to their wives and the captives whom their right hands possess in order that there should be no difficulty for you. And Allâh is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. (33:50)

Allah's statement: “…This is only for you and not for the Believers (at large)” (33:50) means that Allah the Almighty has allowed His Messenger (pbuh) more than the maximum number of wives that He has allowed for men in Islam, which is four (at the same time) as clearly stated in Qur’anic Ayâh (Verse) 3 of Chapter 4 (Surah An-Nisa). It must be noted that other Prophets and Messengers of Allah have more than four wives. Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah)! Allah has perfected Islam through His Final Messenger, the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Before the Prophet's death, Allah has perfected Islam. During his pilgrimage to Makkah on the Day of Arafat he received the following very inspiring revelation:

“...This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.” (Qur'an, 5:3)

All the conditions of types of marriages as demonstrated by the Prophet (pbuh) reflect the wisdom behind his marriages. He has shown to us that any righteous Muslim man can live a happy and peaceful life with his wife or wives (whether young or old, poor or rich or any physical, social or racial status, etc.). A righteous Muslim can live with his believing or righteous wife or wives till death (without resorting to family break-ups) no matter how economically poor he is. He has proven that spiritual richness (i.e., fear and love of Allah and hope for His rewards) makes marriages successful. The world's Great Prophet serves as the perfect model for the whole mankind. Islâm is indeed, complete, rational, and practical. In short, it is the perfect religion for the whole mankind.

[1] For the names and brief descriptions of the Prophet's wives and other justifications behind his marriages, please refer to the following sources: Safi-ur Rahman al Mubarakpurl, “Al Raheeq Al Makhtum (The Sealed Nectar) Biography of the Noble Prophet r”, Riyadh: Maktaba Darussalam Publishers and Distributors, 1995, Pp. 483-491; Tahia Al-Ismail, “The Life of Muhammad r Based on the Earliest Sources,” Jeddah: Abul-Qasim Bookstore, 1990, Pp. 193-207; and Zakaria Bashier, “Sunshine at Madinah: Studies in the Life of the Prophet Muhammad r”, Leicester, UK: The Islâmic Foundation, 1990, Pp. 142-152.

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